You are reading my head

mat salleh ckp melayu! serious xtipu! haha. It happened during my first semester in Kuantan. I don't really remember when but it was monthhss ago...haha;p I dont know how and why I feel like bringing this thing up but it so happen that I remembered it while taking my shower this evening. And like always I laughed. Gosh! It must have been sound so weird that I laughed alone in the bathroom.;p Anyway, the story goes like this...

It was in East Coast Mall (ECM) thats what they call em. The clock shows around 6. I was with Ash. we decided to took a cab since ash looked tired to walk back home. And so we walked to the taxi counter and suprisingly there's no one there. no taxi and so does all the taxi drivers. And we waited. Until it came. While waiting, there's this couple..tall blonde guy and a tall brunette girl. So obviously la kan dorg mat salleh..haha;p We were guessing that they were waiting for a cab too. They stand like a few inches away from us from the side. They smiled and we smiled back. tibe2, 'biela, jgn lah mat salleh ni ambik taxi kite, ash da letih ni. lgpun we got here first.' And i said ' haa..tau xpe..xpelah..we'll see how.' tunggu punye tunggu the taxi never showed up. Quite frustrating! haaiihh..suddenly the couple were walking towards us. 'sudah lame tunggu ke?' That freaking word just came out from that brunette. Shit! I was terribly ashamed of myself! Shame on me! hahaha.;p I answered 'oh, yeah. da lame jgk tunggu.' while they were talking to each other I gave a very very very big smile to Ash. The same reaction was given to me by Ash. It was very memalukan that they actually cn understand everything that we said. But seriously we have no idea if they heard us. Due to our humiliation, we decided to just walk back to our campus..hahahaha..lesson of the day jgn lah berjoyah psl org even org itu mat salleh!;p btw for those who still not familiar with my terms..
berjoyah = bergossip
mat salleh = org putih..
enjoy..;)

semua menjadi tanda tanya..lalalalala(xtau lyrics) haha. oh! mengape ye?saya dan diha melayn lagu mawar khayalan?hmmmm..sgt curious..

This is some pieces that I wrote when I have the mood to write. I know its not that good but its just something that I wanted to share. I havent decide about the title yet, so just read it.nggee:D

When I saw the cloud turns to grey,
I wished and prayed so that it will rain,
and yes, it rained.

When the rain drops,
The soil will welcome and greeted them happily,
Just like us facing fate and destiny,
To have faith,
To have strength,
To not let go of what we ever dream of,

Why worry about the rain,
It will somehow stop at times and days,
To washed everything out from past and now,
The rain is just dropping by just to remind that we're lucky enough,
To be like what we are today.

So let the rain fell from the sky,
To let them remind us of what we've forgotten,
The love,
The pain,
As it is only a temporary feelings.

Happiness is yet to come,
As the rainbow will appear after the rain,
Where it brings back colours in your life,
To have the guts,
To take the chance,
To make the world yours,
and a better place to stay.

Selamat pagi!!! Biela here!! Ohh!! I dont know why i'm so ceria today! Everyday is a ceria day! Looking back at the past, yeah..I'm a happy girl. I mean I laughed most of the time. Wait, wait, wait. Let me just count how many times I cried in this whole year? Let see..hmmm...8 times!8 times in a whole year? Is that must be something bad? Or is it normal? xpercaye? okay, i'll prove it!



Biela crying list 2009

1. SPM (yes I cried for that)
2. Frustrated xdpt maktab! (I think this it the worst cried! I can hardly breathe!)
3. Leaving my family n Ipoh.( Its just sad okay??)
4. I got fever the other day.( I guess I was so pressured!)haha;p
5. Break up. ( I didn't cry so long! waste of crap!)
6. Naim's accident. ( I cried like everytime i see him.)
7. Naim's accident. ( On the bus)
8. Picking up naim's stuff after the accident!


Now u believe me?
hahaha.;P Sometimes i really think that I should cry a lot. But, I just cant. In some way, I will laugh just maybe for some small little things. Kadang-kadang x lawak pun. But I can laughed about it! Am I crazy? hahaha;p Nak jadi emo. naahh..I can't. Tgk org yg dress up emo pn I can laugh!hahahaha..(bad biela! bad biela!) Entahla! sometimes my laughter disease should stop! u think? or maybe slow it down a little? haihhh..haha;p

Hello people..actually saye berplanning nk berbahase melayu hari ni. Jadi, just bare with it. Kalau tidak betul bm saya, saya mohon maaf. Saya tau bm saya agak tunggang langgang tapi saya ckp bm agak fluent. Ye la saya kan orang melayu. harus pandai bahase melayu. Saya sbnrnye agak influence dgn blog abg saya. sgt menyentuh hati saya. Rupa- rupanye abgku tidak seperti yg saya sangka kerana die tu agak secretive sikit. Jadi, bila ditgk2 balik dia sbnrye seorg yg sgt loving dlm diam2. saya tau kami tidak rapat kerana dari dulu die mmg sekolah asrama. maklumlah die seorg ank lelaki yg lain tu perempuan trmasuk saya. tp walau apa2 pun saya tau die tetap ambil tau psl ktorg walaupn die diam. sebab tu saya syg abg saya!;) walaupun saya x pnggl pun gelaran abg di dpn saye pnggl naim je. semalam die baru selesai operation tulang. huh! Bertapa gelabahnye saya semalm. sebab terlalu lama. dari pukul 2 ptg sampai 10 mlm. apabila dpt tau naim da keluar OT saya rase lega! relieve xterkata! terima kasih kwn2 kerana menenangkan kegelabahan saya! hari ni pula saya dpt tau, naim sgt ceria. yang sgt kelakar first thing that he asked from my mum is tembikai!haha(bercampur2 bhase hari ni!)haha.naim..naim..so much like u!;p pada hari die operation tu, tp sblm die operate saya xtahu kenape dgn saye tp saya telah membuat kerja yg sgt gila! after class, saya mmg kempunan kfc. cheesy wedges. saya terberangan sekejap psl cheesy wedges dlm class.(sorry mdm roose!)so dgn hati yg anxious, xberfikir pnjg saya jln kaki dgn kwn saya diha ke mega mall sebab nk tunggu bus sgt lame. tahu xberape jauhnye mega dari pdg lalng? agak dkt kalau drive tp agak jauh n bahaye kalau jln kaki. saya pn dgn terkedek2 memakai baju kurung pergi mega.dlm hati cis! menyesal xpkai pants! mmg bahaye perjalanan kami. Melintas jln besar, lalu di dpn rumah org bujang/pndatang asing. saya dah la xsuka melintas kerana ia sgt scary! lalu dpn rumah tu tawakkal je la. haha. yg penting dpt kfc. sampai2, terus order xmeal which consist of twister, fries, hot rods air and i add on TAARRAAA..cheesy wedges!!sgt very the sedap!!mmg peergghh! kempunan la katakan..tp quite an exciting journey i can say! but i dont think I will ever do that again! mak..if u found out abt this..jgn mara!;p Jadi, ape yg anda rase? adakah say gila?;p

It was on Tuesday when the tragedy strikes me. At 11 am I received a call from my dad and that is when I got the sad news. My brother met with an accident in Tapah. I was very shocked and started to cry. I was worried sick about my brother as I heard his car was crushed so badly. The car was a total lost! My dad was calm on the phone and asked me to be patient. I wanted to go home that very moment but he wont let me. Afraid that I have classes on the next day. So, I decided to come back the next day. At that very particular time I was at mega for lunch. Having teppanyaki. My mood really turn to yellow. I was down and all I wanted to do at that time was to go home and think about my brother. At around 1 I went back home and told my housemate ash, nadia my best friend and my buddy ska. I slept that very evening and prayed for my brothers health. I fell asleep crying about him. Later that evening while having a walk outside my campus, Shila my cousin texted me saying that nain is in the operation room. I cried so badly when I heard his internal organs were damaged so badly. Without thinking any longer, I decided to go back to ipoh that night. I don’t care what time I reached ipoh, I don’t care how dangerous it is to travel alone at night without any company but all I know is that I wanted to see him. All these while, my parents havent told me the truth about Naim’s condition. The whole journey I cried and prayed for Naim until I fell asleep. As soon as I reached Ipoh my parents and nana fetched me at medan gopeng. Everyone look messy. I have never seen my dad so exhausted like that. My mum grab my hand and we cried. That night we took everything that was in the car with him during the accident. His laptop, his drum sticks, his clothes, his fruits, maggie and everything was covered with blood and fuel. It was so sad to look at his stuff. It was a lie if I said that we slept that night. Each and every one of us could barely sleep thinking about naim. My dad look very pale. Same goes to my mum. The next day we went and see naim. I havent seen him yet and I was nervous. I was scared. I entered the ICU with the lafaz Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. I have to accpet his condition. Yesterday I saw him in one piece and now I see him with broken arm and broken legs. It was so sad to see with his mouth full of tubes. His lungs was also poked with tube and wires connected to his body with a huge machine. He looked at me and I looked right back at him. He smiled. I smiled back. I could see his eyes was watery and that was the moment I could not hold my tears any longer. I turned back and I cried so badly. The nurse calm me down. I calmed myself and try to relaxed. I talked to him and prayed for him. Give him the spirit to live. I spend most of my days in the hospital and even spend my birthday with him. I don’t feel sad anymore. It’s time for me and my family to give him full support for him to heal spiritually and mentally. I know Allah is always with us. Insyaallah. I don’t need birthday presents. All I want is for him to be fine and can actuallyy be naim again. That is a perfect birthday gift. I wanted him to know that I love him very much and I am not ready to lose him. I am glad that he is improving and in a process of recovering. Really wanted to thank all of my relatives, friends(nadia, oxy, aziah, ska and everyone who knew), naim’s friends. Hopefully he will get well really soon. Lets just not lose hope and just keep on praying. May allah be with Naim and me and my family. I’ll see you very soon big brother.
p/s : I love you.