You are reading my head

Raya korban!!yeaayy!!boleh baliikk!!that's my motive actually..! I want to go home! hahaha.. That morning, Aunty Jah took me to a very nice place fror breakfast. I had nasi goreng kpg it was freaking hot! Pedas gile! but anyway sedapla..hahaha;p to sum up i had nasi goreng kpg, two cups of ice tea and a lempeng nyiai or nyai something!okayla..okayla..enough with that one! My bus will be going to ipoh at 9.30 and i assumed i will be arriving in ipoh around 4 or maybe 5..what pissed me off is that i arrived ipoh at 6! I sat like about 10 hours in the bus, starving!!!hahaha..sampai2 ipoh my sis..'hi biela!! apesal muke ko pucat?' and i answered 'lapa..xmkn lg..' n i made the face i usually do to make people go aawww..hahahaha;p 'kesian biela..okay then. lets get u some prosperity!' 'yeaayy!!' i said..n nana was arguing about her esther n max thingy!(i mean duhh get over it)hahaha..That night while packing nk balik kpg, nana had this stupid idea of making this dance move from a kids show called Hi-5! the dance was called a monster dance!!! so nana was like'biela lets do the monster dance!' n i was like 'okay! ready, 1..2...3...' and there we go dancing in the room happily like org giler!hahaha;p unfortunately, my dad was looking!!!!hahaahahah;p n eventually he only saw me!!!not me and nana!only me!! EMBARASSINGG!!! i was blushing and so malu!! my abah went on like 'that was shocking!' i was hell malu!!!!!!i scream n gelakk like mad!!;p malu malu malu!;p will never ever do that dance ever again!!haaa..;p well, overall, my raya is not that bad. Its like a normal day, and i spent the whole day with my pyjama and watched stupid and funny videos!!hahaahaha..on saturday plak went and see my girl friends!! nadia, oxy hanim including meyo! thank u so much for the birthday presents and wishes!1 thank u so much!!love u guys so much!!;p so..thats my raya story!haha;p what's urs?;p

Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad!!!=) I love you guys much! I know that I am not there to celebrate it with korg but I wish I was. hehehe;p I wish both of you good health and good wealth.;p thanks for giving me everything! without you i'm nothing! aawwwww!!feel like having group hugggss!!!!hahahaha..;p miss u guys! have a happy romantic anniversary! xoxo

p/s : i'll be back this thursday morning! wait for me!!;)

nothing to say here actually but my abah so funny! haha! I texted him yesterday and ask him to call me but he didn't. kinda sad yesterday! why daddy didn't call me back!haha(mengade!)haha..;p This morning he called me up in the middle of subuh which is pg when I was still of course in my blankie. The conversation went something like this.

Abah : Hello, biela. knape suruh abah call yesterday?

Me : Hello, urmm..Abah.. Hi..kenape..?

Abah : ...???

Me : Oh..haa..sorry..sorry..ni its abt hashiffi. Sijil pergi jepn hilang,
die minx tlg boleh x abah tlg bt baru utk die?

Abah : Oh boleh. suruh die datang jumpe abah. sijil ape yg hilang? slip spm ke?

Me : hmm..aaa.......(mamai..xtau wats goin on) eh! bknla abh.sijil pergi jepun.
(what exactly did i say to him just now! was it me or him?)haha

Abah : siape sign korg punye sijil dulu?

Me : I dont know. ur boss maybe. ur Pengarah rasenye.

Abah : aahh..okay..okay..boleh.boleh. nanti suruh die dtg jumpe abah.

Me : okay.( i said okay???)

Abah : baru bgn ke tu?

Me : haa..agakla..nk bgn ni..hehe

Abah : okayla biela. nice talking to you.(i dunno u cn be sarcastic sometimes
dad)hahaha.okayla biela. abah nak pergi kerja. nanti abah call lg. bye.
(i heard mum was mumbling about solat, dont know what she said)haha!

Me : bye.


Minutes after, I was thinking to myself. Hey! mcm mane hashiffi nk jumpe abah??? hahahaahaha! what have i done!?hahahaha;p

The day before yesterday, it was in the evening If im not mistaken, I watched G.I Joe with my housemates. It was raining and I really felt like so lazy to do anything. The rain makes me lazy I think!haha. because it was so cold. Then while watching, my eyes were like kuyu gile..mcm nak tido but I don’t want to. Then suddenly ade big wind blowing through the balcony until my tudung on the table dropped. I was like shit, malasnye nk bgn ambik..haha. so dgn perassan yg sgt malas, and my position on the chair pun macam ape je I slide down my chair and try to pick the tudung up. I was so confident that I wont fall. Haha! I didn’t notice that my chair is sliding down as well, then I over slide and terhantuk my cheek on the table because the chair was unstable and so was I. ‘babi shit’ I sweared! I wasn’t suppose to say that but it’s a spontaneous reaction! I just cant stop it! Sorry;p haha. It hurts. Nasib okay. I din broke any of my cheek bone structure or whatever..hahaha. but sakit la!haha. the lesson for today is not to be lazy in any situation ur in!haha.. I swear lately ni I always find myself in the rain. I always come home wet and shivering. And now I am here sneezing rase cm nk demam!mommy!;( ouh yeah! There’s one more, I met abon for the first time. All this while searching for him atas amanat Ska, haha, finally jumpe die yesterday! Haha. He was so nice and a very shy boy. When I talked to him I actually realised I was talking to the boy who scored the highest pointer in this campus. Haha. I macam naahh..watever. he’s nice so xpela. Haha. Anyway, Ska, I found ur friend!haha. whatever it is im counting the days! You know what day!haha..whiippii! kalau xtau figure it out yourself!;p

can u see how happy i look?hehe
Second semester in Uitm. Yeah. Its Thursday and I am happily lying on my bed when all my housemates went to class. Oh! That’s just heaven! Haha. I did have class this morning but it was cancelled since Mdm Aini is not around. So that will leave only psychology class this evening. Im still in my bed in my pyjama and enjoying the rain outside. It was very cold and very nice indeed. (I don’t know why, but I found that rain has a very nice smell and I kinda like it. Do you notice that rain has this kind of smell? Trust me, ade!) haha! You should try and smell the rain some times. It keeps on raining right here in Kuantan. Ska said it could probably later cause flood. Hmm..i don’t want to think anout that because if I did I will get scared and my heart will keep on telling me to go home! So biela! Do not think think! Relax! It’s just a rain! Tu la siape suruh menyanyi last nite!hahaa..tp hujan la best kan? You could sleep happily! Golek sane golek sini! Happy je..maybe tido pn tersenyum! =) aww..then when it comes to enter my Lala Land everything will be very….how do we say.. indah? I guess. Its like mimpi indah la..hahaha.. sweet dreams. Haha! This rain is distracting me. Seriously, they were like singing and asking me to sleep! Okay! That’s it! Im going to sleep! I cant resist it! Shit! Haha. Oh, by the way, congratulations kak na! for getting 5A’s! and diha’s sister as well! (kak na is my cousins daughter so that will make her my ank sedare)=) okay! Off to bed now! Chao!=)

Oh my.. I don’t what to say right now. Just yesterday I posted my blog saying that everything went well between me and him. But the fact is a few moments after that he posted on his status in his myspace like this ‘ade kumbang lain rupenye…hahaha..patutla nak sgt bla’. I was happy for him that he actually move on and I assumed he didn’t hate me. Maybe let go I guess. But he didn’t. I kinda feel sad about it. I don’t know what to feel anymore. Hate? Misery? Sad? Angry? I’m having mixed feelings right now. I know I’m not suppose to cry over this. Im glad I don’t. What I know is just that I was disappointed. I don’t want to hate him. I don’t like hating people. Because in the end we end up causing and bringing misery in our lives and I don’t want that. I am not going to say anything anymore. Maybe I am the bad one for dumping him. But I just cant carry on anymore. I am happy and more relax now. I like it this way. Having a lot of friends that can actually cheers me up. Facing reality. Maybe I just should ignore this and carry on with my life. I don’t know. I put and let everthing in His hand.

At times I have to admit that I miss him. But I am glad that he is doing okay and everything seems fine to him. He go his own way and I go mine. He never quits his football though. Hahahaha. I’m happy when everybody’s happy. Although we’re not together anymore it seems like we both know what’s best for us. And I don’t think he hates me. I don’t hate him too infact I wish we could be friends like normal but I know that will never happen. Maybe it will but it takes a long time for both of us to feel comfortable. It’s not easy to forget things happen between the two of us but still I’m happy with my decision. I feel calm, happy and relaxed. And now I know he’s doing fine it makes me a lot more happy to watch him shine! Cheers for me and him!

so, here I am Back in Kuantan with my friends in our new room 1306. The room is quite different than the previous room we've had. I'm happy to see my friends get back along together. Catch up all things we did during the break. pointer we scored during the finals. everybody seems happy about it. good for them! But, there's one thing i observed here. im not sure its a like a season or what but i think it is spreading. im not mentioning about the virus okay?haha.dont get me wrong. What i'm saying is that we r having a break up season right now!almost all of us are single now!hahaah.including me though. im happy to be here n i feel calm. im ready to go and take whatever challenge in this second sem. i dont regret watever things hgappen because i know that little things is a lesson. after all, we only live once right?like you only live once song by the strokes right?hahahalalalla..i dun care.after cutting my hair and shopping for bra's after the break up, i feel good! i just lovin it! so?what's next for me?hahahaha

i just want to be alone. just leave me alone. let time heals me. i am tired. just tired.